However, not wanting my daughter, we'll call her Zuul, to be a pariah like her mother, I started to bring her to a baby singalong at my local library. Plus, she'll be talking sooner rather than later, so I probably should stop singing and dancing along to the Teaches of Peaches before the complaints from other parents come in.
What I didn't know was they dedicate a portion of the class to mommy chit chat. O_o
As I approach the group, I immediately hear chanting in my head, "Two moms enter, one mom leaves!".
They're all in a circle, talking amongst themselves until I get there then, boom, silence and stare downs. I felt like turning around and running back home, but I wasn't there for me.
The mom who sits next to me has a 4 month old too. As soon as we learnt they were the same age she started listing off all the things her baby could already do. I guess I just don't get excited about anyone's baby, not even my own, sucking her bottom lip, however, she was acting like her baby just composed his first aria. At this point I realise she's not just making casual conversation, she's making comparisons. Ugh.
Judgy McJudgypants asks how nap times are going. I say "Naps are for suckers, right Zuul?". The look of shock was amusing, so I explain how she's refusing to nap the last couple of days. She responds, "Poor mom. Mine goes down every two hours." "Oh really?" I say, feigning interest. "Yeah, the first couple of days he'd scream for 20 minutes, but now he just babbles to himself until he sleeps." "Oh," I replied. "I still rock Zuul to sleep. " She was horrified. "My sister's a nurse. She said don't even start with that. Worst thing you can do."
Now, I hate all this judgement and pressure women put on each other, however, at this point, I am disengaging with her because she just implied I'm harming my child. Because being hugged too much was listed the number one reason why Jeffrey Dahmer started eating people, I'm sure.
Not only that, but worse. I too sucked into this judgemental vortex. I'm thinking to myself that her sister is a terribly mean nurse. This circle of hate has got to end!
Luckily, Zuul's shoes captured the attention the baby on the other side of us. Finally, someone I can relate to! Sure, she's 10 months old, but shoes! Fuck yeah! The light at the end of a boring tunnel. I believe the children are our future and my bet is on shoe fetish girl. I hope her and Zuul become BFF's, cause lord knows mommy's not making any new ones.
Ugh... You'd think another parent would understand how difficult it is to raise a kid under a microscope... Sheesh!
ReplyDeleteWell, that's why I started writing about this stuff. They're everywhere!!!
DeleteThe sad thing is, there's so much peer pressure to be That Way that even women who would otherwise be awesome and friendable turn into the dreaded mompetitors. But when you find people you can be yourself with, it's awesome.
ReplyDeleteTrue. My neighbour hosts a monthly get together for parents and children in this building. So far, I have awesome neighbours, but I'm sure there will be one in the group that will ruin it for everyone. Probably me.
DeleteYou're a better mom than I am. I couldn't bring myself to go to those things. I did, ONCE, and I had to leave because holyhellno.
ReplyDeleteWell, I feel the same way, but in this case the good outweigh the bad.
DeletePlus, I need something to write about.
I went to a mom play date meetup thing, back when the goobers were bitty, and never felt at-home. Older professional moms, the only things we had in common were our parenting style choices. It was cancelled, suddenly, and I was the only one not notified. Took an hour & 2 buses to get there & I had no idea. Still don't know why.
ReplyDeleteI haven't gone to another mom group since.
I dont know, id be pretty impressed to see a baby sing "fuck the pain away" Mom groups frighten me, ive been to one and the women were insane. My dream is to find a mom's group where I can drink wine and play Super Nintendo.
ReplyDeleteSounds like my kind of playgroup. Throw the kids into a playpen and place random bets on which one will poop first. Because it's not a Subversive Mom playgroup unless it involves Rabbid Rabbits, cocktails and illegal gambling.
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