Unsolicited Advice and Opinionated Diatribe: Sleep, baby. Sleep.

Zuul's 8.75 months now, and sleep is a battlefield.

While I can't seem to get her to stay asleep at night for very long anymore, I have found that my iPad is the best tool, next to my pacifying tits, for getting her to fall asleep, even if for a very short time, using the following:

The Baby Music Box app from 7 Druids.

This is a free app with some additional, ad free features for purchase. I have not purchased them though. For some reason, the creepy stuffed giraffe, orca, monkey and teddy bear, floating through space with either a simple music box tune (similar to those used in far too many horror movies) or hippy nature sounds seems to be enough to lull my little one to sleep. I manage to counter my own heebie jeebies by imagining the pull cords are anal beads, which makes me giggle like a 12 year old boy.

In The Night Garden.

WTF is this? Mugglef*ck#ng magic! That's what. I've seen terrible reviews about how these kinds of baby-talking tv shows (reminiscent of Teletubies, I'm told), are terrible for babies. 'Something, something, bad for language development, tv is the devil, blah, blah, blah', don't give a rats ass. All those squeeks and farts over, I'm assuming, a narration by a relative of David Attenborough puts Zuul in a sleepy place and that's all that matters.

iPad Photos Slideshow with Music.

I may be creating either a megalomaniac, an Internet troll or a veterinarian doing this as my iPad photos are filled with pictures of Zuul, Subversive Dog and memes I save for future use, but I'm ok with that. Set that shit up on dissolve, throw on a little Esperanza Spalding and watch her drift away.

So, if you, like me, are going through the wonder weeks or sleep regression, and own some sort of tablet device, I highly recommend giving these a shot.