It's all going to hell.

None of the old tricks work.  If we could afford a nanny, I would hire one just to do changes.  I don't have the mental tools to deal with this.

Zuul's no longer content laying still for a diaper change.  The arsenal of toys and random items off the change table no longer preoccupy her.  I don't know how to put a diaper on a moving child.

And to think, I complained about the first few months.  At least she was an immobile lump then.  

Subversive Dad started the challenge.  Yes, I'll blame him.  It's just easier to have a scapegoat.  He informed me that he leveled up is the toddler game by performing his first diaper change on a standing toddler.

Not to be outdone, I stopped making Zuul scream by trying to keep her pinned down and attempted this myself.  Now we created a monster.  She thinks it's a game, and she's winning.

I admit, 90% of the time now, I have no idea if her diaper is secured before I wrangle the rest of her clothes on her.  Disaster is imminent.  The last diaper change, it was nothing short of a miracle that nothing leaked as one fastener was on her sweatshirt rather than her diaper, leaving it half dangling in the breeze.

So, I need pro tips.  Is there anything else I can do to get her to stay still for a diaper change?  Or should I just let go and let god?

Oh, and she's taken to biting knees now too.

The tide has shifted.  No good can come of this.