S.O.S

I sunk to a new low today.

Zuul was getting cranky, and I knew it was close to nap time, but it was also lunch time, and I was defrosting peas, praying she'd hold out until after lunch.  I started her on the boob in the nursery and she fell asleep.  

Anticipating this, I had Subversive Dad check in on me once, and, whispering I said "put the peas in the fridge, and please bring me my iPad and a sandwich."

Now, this isn't funny, Subversive Dad is going deaf.  He's usually pretty good at reading lips though, so I thought I would be ok.  However, 20 minutes after he gave me his iPad, I still hadn't been brought a single thing to eat so, desperate, I went to Facebook.

DISCLAIMER:  Please excuse the bad typing on my end as I was doing it with one hand while balancing a baby on my legs.  Also, excuse my first attempt at screen capturing.  I haven't quite figured out how to trim it all down.  I'm a bit graphically challenged - as you can tell by my sloppy blog.

Now, Zuul did wake up right when N called, but Subversive Dad made me a sandwich anyway with a side of shaming glances.  He swears I did not ask him for a sandwich, but if there is one thing you ought to know about me is I DO NOT MESS WHEN IT COMES TO FOOD!!!

Sunday Confessional

Two days ago, we started our normal routine of getting up, nursing and getting ready to walk the dog.


I must of been bagged because, while I took great care to protect Zuul from the frigid morning, I completely forgot to strap her in safely in her stroller.

If you follow my blog, you know this is a BIG FUCKING DEAL because Subversive Dog can really throw her weight around, and has damn near toppled the stroller over before in her excitement. Luckily for Zuul and I, (not so much for puppy), she has been nursing a scraped up paw and, therefore, with a sad limp, a lot gentler with us all.

Still, feeling like an epic fail as a mom. The only thing making me feel like less of a failure (just a little) is the story an old family friend told me.

Her daughter, who’s a year or two older than me, was also raised by a German Shepherd and told me about the day she parked her then toddler outside of a boutique and tied the dog to it before heading in to shop. (I’ll let that absorb with you for a bit.)

She came out to find the dog had pulled her baby 3 blocks down the street. No harm to any party except maybe a life lesson in where not to tie the dog (or leave your children, cough cough).

For the record, this particular mom is most excellent and a good life long friend. The 70’s were just a very different parenting era. Very. 0_o

That awkward moment...

… when you realize just how much you give up and don’t really give a shit.

Came for me just now when my right boob, which wasn’t being nommed on, made a big leaky mess, and I decided not to get changed because I doubt anyone will notice and I no longer care if they do.

Poor Subversive Dad.

Singing Badly Sunday: My Own Home-a necessary reblog

"Singing Badly Sunday: My Own Home: I miss it."

This is my friend Yael, who lives in Israel with her two children, ages 7 and 5.

It's been very difficult to be witty or sarcastic the last few days knowing she's dealing with one of the biggest parenting challenges I can think of... Protecting her children from rocket fire.  So this particular blog post from her is incredibly haunting.

I'm not going to politicize here.  I have Israeli and Palestinian acquaintances, both tired of this shit.  Both just wanting to have regular parental worries, like which daycare to choose or public school vs. homeschool - without wondering which is less likely to be bombed in the process.  Both praying for peace.

So, this week, although I have some gems in the bank, I'm going to save the funny and spend my time being thankful for never knowing war on Canadian soil in my lifetime, and pray it continues in Zuul's lifetime.  I'm going to snuggle her a little closer, and be happy she's crying because she can't reach a toy or her gums ache, not because the sirens and explosions are scaring her.  But most of all, despite being theologically cynical, I'm going to pray for peace and for the safety of Yael and her angels, and all the babies in Gaza and Israel that are innocent to all this garbage.

Sunday Confessional

Zuul finally turned front to back… And will probably never try it again. She banged her head.  Hard.

And where was the parental supervision? Why, I was sitting right next to her the whole time…

Reading The Bloggess.

Thunderdome, Chapter Two

I was mommyjacked at a baby singalong story time.

I know you are all wondering how a mother can be mommyjacked by another mother. That's meta, right?

We were asked at the end of the class to discuss with a neighbor how we juggle exercise and a baby.

So I started talking about Subversive Dog, who's an 80 lb handful who must be walked twice a day, every day, for about an hour each walk. And, by walk, mean power walk while wearing or pushing a 15 lb baby. Excellent cardio with resistance until we run into a squirrel. Then it's an X-Game.

The lady I erroneously decided to engage with said "Please. I have a 4 year old and an 18 month old. THAT's a handful." Repeatedly.

I think her children broke her brain. I was genuinely concerned and debated finding stroke information. We were in a library, after all.

Oh, sure, I could have gone into how German Shepherds have the intelligence of a two year old child. That would mean that I'm juggling an infant and a toddler, which should trump a preschooler that she lost somewhere in the library anyway, but I really didn't want to worsen her condition.

Never thought I'd be mommyjacked once I became a mom, but I guess I have to become a Dugger to ever be able to trump anyone at this game. DO NOT WANT.

And, sadly, this will most likely be my final chapter in the Thunderdome saga. We have decided to uproot and move to Vancouver Island. So, until I find other parent/infant playgroups to feed the blog beast, this entertaining segment of my life is now at an end.

I can only dream of what crazy will come my way in the land of the newly wed and the nearly dead. I'm sure I won't be at a loss for future material.

Sunday Confessionals

As advertised, I'm on Tumblr too. On Tumblr, I started these Sunday Confessionals and, because I fail as a blogger, I never cross-posted here on Blogger. So let me get you guys caught up.

#1. Sunday Confessional

I still wear maternity jeans for no reason other than they are sooooooo comfortable.

#2. Sunday Confessional

Zuul gets to watch cartoons every morning. It’s that or I don’t get breakfast.

#3. Sunday Confessional

I’m a very honest person. I scoop my dog’s poop, never jaywalk, bide by “walk left stand right” on escalators, hold doors for pretty much anyone. A regular Dudley Doright.

Somehow, my “mommybrain” has turned me into a kleptomaniac. In the past two weeks I’ve walked out of a store with teething pads I meant to pay for, almost made it all the way home with a shopping cart and waltzed right onto a bus without paying my fare.

I’m so ashamed, so I’ve made it a new rule that I’m not to go shopping alone if Zuul’s given me a rough night.

#4. Sunday Confessional

All I got from reading the breastfeeding diet is the “you need more calories.” bit.

Challenge accepted.

#5. Sunday Confessional

I’ve caught myself using dog commands with Zuul. Mainly “Drop it.”.

I kid you not, she listens.


And there you have them. We're all caught up now.

See you next Sunday for Subversive Mom mass.

Issues with Being Schrodinger’s Family

I’m in the process of scrambling to get an appointment for Zuul’s 6 month immunizations plus both our flu shots. Juggling this blog while on hold at various health offices.

So far, the only available date at our Public Health unit is November 23rd. Normally, no big deal, but we’re kind of Schrodinger’s Family right now as we may or may not be moving to Vancouver Island around then. I know, right! Big news. I’ve been trying not to talk about all this until we have a firm decision, but I’m about ready to burst out of my skin already by not talking about it.

Normaly, I would already have an appointment. Would have booked it when she had her 4 month shots. Probably would be getting all juiced up today as Zuul just turned 6 months yesterday. However, I did something I normally never do. I listened to people. Friends, strangers on the internet, etc. and decided to spend time researching the benefits of spreading out her vaccinations vs. getting them all at once, looking into the ingredients, blah, blah, blah. Because I’m the queen of lazytown, I decided to do things in reverse and get her well baby check up first and ask our doctor’s advice instead of doing the work myself.

Our doctor. We are not fans, but it’s been impossible to find a pediatrician who’s taking new clients close to home. I guess that means we have Schrodinger’s Physician now too, as I may or may not be going through the torture of finding a family doctor all over again. But, I guess this might be our only option. Zuul took one look at her yesterday when we saw her and freaked out. She never does that with anyone else, so ask me how much I’m looking forward to this.

And, sure enough, I was able to get them to vaccinate both of us next week. 15 minutes on hold though.

I really hope if we do, or do not, move that there will be better health service available for us soon.

Spoiler Alert