When Zuul woke up from her morning nap today, I took her upstairs to say hi to grandma, as she hadn't seen her yet.
Grandma met us at the top of the stairs and energetically greets Zuul while bending forward for a kiss, which Zuul offers emphatically.
Subversive Dad sees this and watches Zuul offer second and third sloppy baby kisses. He's a bit hurt because the rest of us have to beg for kisses, but Zuul's no dummy. She knows grandma is responsible for ALL THE THINGS! A good majority of her new books, toys and clothes appear on an almost weekly basis --- and this kid knows how to play grandma's shopaholicism to her advantage.
Subversive Dad gets a surprise though. Zuul leans towards him. He leans in expecting his overdue kisses. Unfortunately, Zuul's misunderstood. It was his toast she was after, nothing else.
Saturday, 20 April 2013
Monday, 15 April 2013
Subversive Children's Programing Analysis
We're big on TV in this house, no matter what the experts say. I pay attention the the kids shows I let Zuul watch, and the good majority are either quite educational or encourage physical activity, but, I admit, some I am giving the side eye of judgement to. Here's why.
Normally, I'd be very excited about an openly gay interracial couple on Treehouse, but Toopy's a bit of a self centered ego maniac, and 90% of the stories would end quickly if Toopy would just let Binoo talk. I can't help but believe this is an unhealthy, controlling relationship. Nothing I want my daughter influenced by.
As a Latina woman, I had my issues with this show at the beginning. Really, Disney Jr.? A Mexican handyman? Not the town lawyer or doctor? HOW STEREOTYPICAL!!! But then their song "Hop Up, Jump In" came on and made me jump up and salsa, so all is forgiven.
OMG, Where are the parents? And, more importantly, where's the adult supervision?
I guess I might be projecting a bit. My brother and I were latch key kids. He is also almost 7 years younger than me, so I did a lot of "watching my brother". And, by watching, I mean I stayed in and watched TV while he ran around the neighbourhood.
I developed bratty brother senses though. I always knew when he was up to no good and ran to his rescue as one in charge should be, but it doesn't take away that we were both far too young to be left at home without any adult supervision many a time. But, enough about me being a shitty underage babysitter and my parents making terrible child care choices.
In the case of Max and Ruby, Ruby is clearly raising her little brother. The grandma appears every once in a while, but Ruby has obviously been thrown into a parental role at a very early age. I assume her parents are doing time for running a meth lab.
As for Stella, does anyone else find her weirdly obsessed with her little brother? Why doesn't she have friends her own age? I find her isolation from her peer group to be concerning and sad.
Where Max, Ruby, Stella and Sam reminded far too much of my childhood, Thomas reminds me of an ex-boyfriend (or two).
What a bunch of hypersensitive, whiny and overly competitive bunch. (Never mind the creepy factor). I wish I could dump the show, but Zuul has taken quite a liking to it, and her cousins are obsessed. At least it's not Twilight.
Maybe Thomas & Friends are preparing them for the hostile work environments of their futures? Maybe Zuul will realize they're not that great and throw a drink in their creepy train faces. A mom can dream.
Toopy and Binoo:
Normally, I'd be very excited about an openly gay interracial couple on Treehouse, but Toopy's a bit of a self centered ego maniac, and 90% of the stories would end quickly if Toopy would just let Binoo talk. I can't help but believe this is an unhealthy, controlling relationship. Nothing I want my daughter influenced by.
Handy Manny
As a Latina woman, I had my issues with this show at the beginning. Really, Disney Jr.? A Mexican handyman? Not the town lawyer or doctor? HOW STEREOTYPICAL!!! But then their song "Hop Up, Jump In" came on and made me jump up and salsa, so all is forgiven.
Max and Ruby / Stella and Sam
OMG, Where are the parents? And, more importantly, where's the adult supervision?
I guess I might be projecting a bit. My brother and I were latch key kids. He is also almost 7 years younger than me, so I did a lot of "watching my brother". And, by watching, I mean I stayed in and watched TV while he ran around the neighbourhood.
I developed bratty brother senses though. I always knew when he was up to no good and ran to his rescue as one in charge should be, but it doesn't take away that we were both far too young to be left at home without any adult supervision many a time. But, enough about me being a shitty underage babysitter and my parents making terrible child care choices.
In the case of Max and Ruby, Ruby is clearly raising her little brother. The grandma appears every once in a while, but Ruby has obviously been thrown into a parental role at a very early age. I assume her parents are doing time for running a meth lab.
As for Stella, does anyone else find her weirdly obsessed with her little brother? Why doesn't she have friends her own age? I find her isolation from her peer group to be concerning and sad.
Thomas and Friends
 |
| It's not you, it's me. OK, it is you. See, you have caused delays and confusion, so I need to move on. |
Where Max, Ruby, Stella and Sam reminded far too much of my childhood, Thomas reminds me of an ex-boyfriend (or two).
What a bunch of hypersensitive, whiny and overly competitive bunch. (Never mind the creepy factor). I wish I could dump the show, but Zuul has taken quite a liking to it, and her cousins are obsessed. At least it's not Twilight.
Maybe Thomas & Friends are preparing them for the hostile work environments of their futures? Maybe Zuul will realize they're not that great and throw a drink in their creepy train faces. A mom can dream.
Sunday, 14 April 2013
Sunday Confessional
Excuse me while my Canuckistani shows...
I've been using behavioral techniques from Poko on myself to help control my own anger issues.
Hug a monkey, hug him tight, hug him 'til you feel alright.
All better.
I've been using behavioral techniques from Poko on myself to help control my own anger issues.
Hug a monkey, hug him tight, hug him 'til you feel alright.
All better.
Friday, 12 April 2013
Halftone Humiliation - CSI Lechter edition
I was shooting the shit on Twitter last night while the tv way on in the background. The remote was on the couch across from me, and I just couldn't get enough elves, dwarves and hobbits to join me to go get it, so I just let whatever crap was on next play.
I didn't even know they're running a tv show based on Hannibal Lechter. It was just so CSI-ish, so it didn't really captivate my attention until there was a dinner scene.
That when I discovered the whole appeal of the show. During a dinner scene, I was left playing the game, "PORK OR PEOPLE?", and I was hooked. This is the only reason I would watch this show. I might even make a drinking game out of it somehow.
I didn't even know they're running a tv show based on Hannibal Lechter. It was just so CSI-ish, so it didn't really captivate my attention until there was a dinner scene.
That when I discovered the whole appeal of the show. During a dinner scene, I was left playing the game, "PORK OR PEOPLE?", and I was hooked. This is the only reason I would watch this show. I might even make a drinking game out of it somehow.
Thursday, 11 April 2013
Pre-Toddler Wrestlemania
Changing Zuul these days goes like this:
Put together outfit while Zuul pulls all the clothes out of reachable drawers and laundry hamper, mixing up dirty with clean clothes.
Pick up Zuul and put her on change pad. Get pj's off while she tosses all the clean diapers around.
Put on clean diaper. Put on her undershirt, sing to get her to stop crying. She doesn't like having anything pulled over her face for even a second.
Put socks on. Reach for her top. Put her socks on. Pull top on, while singing. Reach for pants. Put socks on. Get pants on. Blink. Socks are missing and presumed digested. Give up on socks until we have to go out.
Put Zuul in crib or playpen and pick up all the clothes and diapers off the floor. Realize this will be how her bedroom will look like until she goes to university or Europe. Get her out of baby jail, wrangle pants back on. Accept my daughter may be a nudist.
Put together outfit while Zuul pulls all the clothes out of reachable drawers and laundry hamper, mixing up dirty with clean clothes.
Pick up Zuul and put her on change pad. Get pj's off while she tosses all the clean diapers around.
Put on clean diaper. Put on her undershirt, sing to get her to stop crying. She doesn't like having anything pulled over her face for even a second.
Put socks on. Reach for her top. Put her socks on. Pull top on, while singing. Reach for pants. Put socks on. Get pants on. Blink. Socks are missing and presumed digested. Give up on socks until we have to go out.
Put Zuul in crib or playpen and pick up all the clothes and diapers off the floor. Realize this will be how her bedroom will look like until she goes to university or Europe. Get her out of baby jail, wrangle pants back on. Accept my daughter may be a nudist.
Wednesday, 10 April 2013
First World Problems
I was taking a little down time to window shop on Etsy today. Because a girl can dream, I was reviewing all their Mother's Day jewelry suggestions. Wow, are there ever some beautiful and unique family birthstone rings. Excuse me while I wipe my drool.
Sadly, I will never have one. Not because money's tight or anything like that, but because my little family's stones would make one ugly ass ring. Zuul's an emerald, Subversive Dad is a pearl and I'm a peridot. Each on their own (well, maybe except mine), a lovely gem. But combined, no. Not even the most ironic hipster wasted on Pabst and downers could bring themselves to wear such a garish gemstone combination on any part of their body.
In fact, when Subversive Dad decided he wanted to propose to me, he thought it would be cute to get me a custom ring combined with both our gem stones. In theory, this was a very sweet thought, and had we been born on any other combination of months I would have been gushing and proud.
The jeweler politely redirected him with a touch of brutal honesty. If for any reason (aside the obvious ugliness factor) Subversive Dad decided he did not want the ring, the jeweler would never be able to sell it. Luckily, Subversive Dad regained his wits and remembered the ruby hint I dropped. If I ever meet the jeweler in my lifetime, I will kiss the man for not letting that horrendous mistake happen.
And now with an emerald amongst us, there still is not one attractive combination.
So, all sentimentality aside, I have to pass on that kind of family keepsake. Woe is me and a crappy May, June, August mismatch.
Sadly, I will never have one. Not because money's tight or anything like that, but because my little family's stones would make one ugly ass ring. Zuul's an emerald, Subversive Dad is a pearl and I'm a peridot. Each on their own (well, maybe except mine), a lovely gem. But combined, no. Not even the most ironic hipster wasted on Pabst and downers could bring themselves to wear such a garish gemstone combination on any part of their body.
In fact, when Subversive Dad decided he wanted to propose to me, he thought it would be cute to get me a custom ring combined with both our gem stones. In theory, this was a very sweet thought, and had we been born on any other combination of months I would have been gushing and proud.
The jeweler politely redirected him with a touch of brutal honesty. If for any reason (aside the obvious ugliness factor) Subversive Dad decided he did not want the ring, the jeweler would never be able to sell it. Luckily, Subversive Dad regained his wits and remembered the ruby hint I dropped. If I ever meet the jeweler in my lifetime, I will kiss the man for not letting that horrendous mistake happen.
And now with an emerald amongst us, there still is not one attractive combination.
So, all sentimentality aside, I have to pass on that kind of family keepsake. Woe is me and a crappy May, June, August mismatch.
Saturday, 30 March 2013
Well, Crap. That Ferber Guy Was Onto Something.
Baby sleep training achievement unlocked!
Gained normality points and spent them with my wee family downtown. The naps were compromised, but we were rewarded with zombie messiah day purchases of a Fraggle and a Dr. Suess book for Zuul, essential oil and day of the dead socks for me, and Mexican food (or as I like to call it, "comida") for all three of us.
So here are the boring details.
I gave it a full two weeks. Towards the end of week one, I started having doubts, so I tweaked a couple of things.
For one, like many normal children, she protests her naps, even though she is clearly tired. I can't blame her. It's daylight and there's living to be done! We'll sleep when we're dead, I always used to say. However, I need to get shit done and start feeling useful again. So, down she goes, twice a day. Often, she only cries for a few seconds then falls asleep. Other times, she plays, cries for a minute, then goes to sleep. I get anywhere from 45 minutes to two hours to myself twice a day to shower, do chores and have some me time.
At night, I changed the routine to nurse her before story time. The biggest reward is we get to look in each others eyes when I sing her a lullaby and watch her smile. The last three nights in a row she doesn't even let out a peep when I put her in her crib. She just rolls over and dozes off.
The others modification I made is with night nursing. We are down to one midnight feed, if she asks for it, five hours after her bedtime feed. So, if she fusses before 1:30ish in the morning, we do the 20-25-30 minute waits before we attend to her. The longest she's complained for has been 19 minutes before she just goes back to sleep. But if it's been more than 5 hours, fuck Ferber. I just get up and feed her then pluck her back in the crib. We're often not up for more than 10 minutes. She might start stirring at 4:30 a.m., but the last three mornings, I haven't heard a peep from her until around 6:30 a.m. or later. It's been glorious.
Oh! And Subversive Dad even put her to bed once and that didn't freak her out at all!
The sad modification I had to make, however, was kicking our dog out of the bedroom at night. While we were going through the first few cry it out days, Ghost would go to her. It's no surprise, I guess, that dogs don't understand or respect Ferber's methods. As cute as it was to see my beloved canine try and console our baby, it just overstimulated Zuul, making matters worse. On the plus side, I feel like a celebrity with a bodyguard out front my door each time I get up for a pee.
Aside from sleep, the other results are overwhelming. It may or may not be coincidental, but as soon as she started getting the right amount of sleep for her age, the milestones are being hit like rapid fire. She now chases Subversive Cat and her cousins around crawling, started clapping, cruising while holding onto things, waving hello and goodbye, high fiving, and mimicking. We're not saying any first words yet, but she understands phrases like "Where's mama, daddy, grandma, grandpa?", "Come to mama." and "Can I Have a kiss?".
So, I happily eat humble pie, Dr. Ferber. Now I'm looking forward to my first real date night. If only my laziness about pumping didn't supersede that.
Gained normality points and spent them with my wee family downtown. The naps were compromised, but we were rewarded with zombie messiah day purchases of a Fraggle and a Dr. Suess book for Zuul, essential oil and day of the dead socks for me, and Mexican food (or as I like to call it, "comida") for all three of us.
So here are the boring details.
I gave it a full two weeks. Towards the end of week one, I started having doubts, so I tweaked a couple of things.
For one, like many normal children, she protests her naps, even though she is clearly tired. I can't blame her. It's daylight and there's living to be done! We'll sleep when we're dead, I always used to say. However, I need to get shit done and start feeling useful again. So, down she goes, twice a day. Often, she only cries for a few seconds then falls asleep. Other times, she plays, cries for a minute, then goes to sleep. I get anywhere from 45 minutes to two hours to myself twice a day to shower, do chores and have some me time.
At night, I changed the routine to nurse her before story time. The biggest reward is we get to look in each others eyes when I sing her a lullaby and watch her smile. The last three nights in a row she doesn't even let out a peep when I put her in her crib. She just rolls over and dozes off.
The others modification I made is with night nursing. We are down to one midnight feed, if she asks for it, five hours after her bedtime feed. So, if she fusses before 1:30ish in the morning, we do the 20-25-30 minute waits before we attend to her. The longest she's complained for has been 19 minutes before she just goes back to sleep. But if it's been more than 5 hours, fuck Ferber. I just get up and feed her then pluck her back in the crib. We're often not up for more than 10 minutes. She might start stirring at 4:30 a.m., but the last three mornings, I haven't heard a peep from her until around 6:30 a.m. or later. It's been glorious.
Oh! And Subversive Dad even put her to bed once and that didn't freak her out at all!
The sad modification I had to make, however, was kicking our dog out of the bedroom at night. While we were going through the first few cry it out days, Ghost would go to her. It's no surprise, I guess, that dogs don't understand or respect Ferber's methods. As cute as it was to see my beloved canine try and console our baby, it just overstimulated Zuul, making matters worse. On the plus side, I feel like a celebrity with a bodyguard out front my door each time I get up for a pee.
Aside from sleep, the other results are overwhelming. It may or may not be coincidental, but as soon as she started getting the right amount of sleep for her age, the milestones are being hit like rapid fire. She now chases Subversive Cat and her cousins around crawling, started clapping, cruising while holding onto things, waving hello and goodbye, high fiving, and mimicking. We're not saying any first words yet, but she understands phrases like "Where's mama, daddy, grandma, grandpa?", "Come to mama." and "Can I Have a kiss?".
So, I happily eat humble pie, Dr. Ferber. Now I'm looking forward to my first real date night. If only my laziness about pumping didn't supersede that.
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